I don't normally share like this but I have been struggling lately and I decided that I was going to be brave and open up a little. I decided that other girls/women/moms/creatives may be going through the same thing and my post could help someone else out. Or at least make them feel like they are not alone.
I will start out by saying starting this post was a struggle. I sat and contemplated for a long time whether or not to write it. But then I decided to buck up and go for it. So to name it ... ahhh ... so hard and I haven't even started yet. Here were a few of my alternate names for this post: I've Got 99 Problems + Here are a Few, To Be Honest, Struggle City. Ha! I have issues :) anyway back to the real reason I am even writing this post.
So I have been struggling lately. I mean really struggling. My 45 minute drive home from work at night and of course my repeating Taylor Swift album have been sufficient up until about a week ago. And now not even Blank Space can make me feel better.
Lately I have found that I have been getting down on myself because I don't feel like I am doing enough. I could be doing better at being a good mom. I could be doing more for the blog. I should have an online design portfolio. But worst of all I have been playing the comparison game. I am comparing my blog and number of followers to others. I have been comparing my design work to other people that I see online. I do it all of the time. With literally everything. Its so dangerous to do that. It causes so much anxiety in me.
The problem with comparing yourself to others is that we are all different. We are all at different stages and levels in the things that we do. I realized that I have been comparing my blog, that's not even a year old, with blogs that have been around 5 to 7 years. I am comparing my time I get to spend with Noah with other moms that stay home with their kids full time. I have been comparing my designs with people who have been doing longer and have more training. I could go on and on.
When I realize that I am playing this game with myself, I try to think back to a series I watched from The Alison Show. One of the parts of the series is called The Comparison Trap. And she says "And it just CLICKED. That's exactly what comparison is!!! It's A TRAP!!!" So anytime I feel it coming on I try to watch her video and put things back in to perspective. It's hard. And I don't know if it is going to get easier any time soon. But I just try my best and that's all that matters.
I just wanted to let you know that if you are struggling with this too, you are not alone. So if you are feeling this way I just want you to know that you are doing your best. It's ok to not have as many followers as your favorite blog, it's ok to not have as many pieces in your portfolio, it's ok to not make dinner from scratch, it's ok to have dirty dishes in your sink, it's ok.
I just hope that this helps at least one person and I will be happy. xo, Britt